We all know funny jokes, so feel free to share your funniest jokes with all here in order to brightened up everybody's day!!Life is too short, let's have a laugh!!  I need to make sure we are on the same vibe... funny not rude, funny not offensive..

Views: 795

Comment by Diana Brackley on November 23, 2012 at 11:07

Here comes the funny for today:

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember ..
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks. 
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast?'

Comment by Ian Cook on November 24, 2012 at 9:00


HPN Team
Comment by Fabien Reynaud on November 24, 2012 at 10:30

lol bordeline but funny ;-)

 


HPN Team
Comment by paul johnston on November 24, 2012 at 11:28

very impressive Ian

Comment by Ian Cook on November 26, 2012 at 11:36

Comment by Diana Brackley on November 27, 2012 at 12:45

Hello again, time for another me thinks....

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in

The craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and  heat it.

 

Comment by Diana Brackley on November 28, 2012 at 13:22

Here's today's efforts not so much a joke but more of a "ponder".

Why do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?

 


HPN Team
Comment by Fabien Reynaud on December 1, 2012 at 8:56

Ahahaha!! so funny! Keep them coming! I was away this week on Business, I need to catch up ;-)

 

Comment by Diana Brackley on December 4, 2012 at 15:58

Here's todays funny.

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. 
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. 
On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.' 

Don't shoot the messenger....

Comment by Diana Brackley on January 9, 2013 at 13:17

Hello Happy New Year no jokes since 4 December?? better sort that out then.

....The other day I sent my boyfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang him up, I

said "Did you get my drift?"....

Add a Comment

You need to be a member of Hampton People's Network to add comments!

Join Hampton People's Network

© 2020   Created by Matt D.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service